Love and money probably seem like two things that don’t go well together. When you think about spending quality time with your partner, the last thing that comes to mind is probably budgeting, paying bills or talking about your finances. But if you want your relationship to last for the long haul, it would be beneficial to shift your mindset.
While it’s not fun to think about the impact money has on relationships, study-after-study tells us that financial problems are one of the main challenges couples face. In fact, a 2025 survey found that credit card debt played a role in 42% of all divorces.
Fortunately, having an open and ongoing discussion about money can help flip the script. Here are some questions that can help you better understand each other’s financial fears, set goals together and improve your chances of celebrating many more years together as a couple.
1. What’s your “financial personality”?
Everyone has their own financial personality, or a set of traits that inform how they deal with money. Whether your partner is a big spender or hates thinking about money all together, understanding their financial personality (and your own) can help you avoid misunderstandings and better support each other.
How many financial personalities are there? It depends on who you ask, but these are some questions to discuss with your partner so you can understand their relationship with money and how it might impact your day-to-day lives:
- What did your parents teach you about money?
- What are some core memories you have about money from your youth?
- Do you want to approach money the same way your family did?
- How does thinking about or discussing money make you feel?
- How does spending or saving money make you feel?
- What amount of income or assets do you feel is “too much” or “too little”?
- How do you decide if a purchase is worth making?
- Do you give or lend money to loved ones? If so, how do you decide what amount to give/loan?
- Which financial habits do you want your partner to have?
2. What are your financial goals?
Does your partner want to buy a home by the age of 40? Do they want to start a business, travel the world or help their parents retire? Unless you ask your partner about their specific financial goals, you could go years or even a lifetime without knowing what they are. Even worse, you could be unknowingly making it harder for them to make progress.
Instead of assuming your partner is working toward the same financial goals as you, take some time to ask about the specifics, including their timelines, how much they think each goal will cost and whether or not they already have a plan for achieving their goals.
3. Should we combine our income and expenses?
There’s no right or perfect way to go about sharing financial responsibilities with your partner. The decision of whether to combine financial accounts and split certain expenses depends on where you’re at in your relationship and your personal preferences. Some options include:
- Pooling your money into joint accounts
- Keeping your financial accounts separate
- A mix of shared and separate accounts
- Keeping your expenses separate
- Splitting expenses 50/50
- Splitting expenses proportionally to your income
Whatever you choose, it’s important to make a decision, since you’re already impacting each other’s finances whether you like it or not.
For example, your partner’s love of fine dining or spontaneous travel might be eating into your savings account. If you don’t decide how to navigate these costs in advance, you can set yourself up for arguments or even financial trouble.
Instead, do some research and come to an agreement together. If you’re considering marriage or domestic partnership, learn about your state and local laws on joint property and debt.
Make sure you understand how your decisions can affect your partner’s financial well-being and vice versa. You’ll also want to make sure it’s clear who is in charge of managing which bills and accounts and inform each other how to manage your separate responsibilities if an emergency comes up.
4. Are we saving enough money?
Murphy’s Law makes no exceptions for love or money —if something can go wrong, it will. So it’s important to save money and form a financial safety net for yourselves.
Experts recommend saving three to six months’ worth of living expenses for emergencies so you can cover anything from an unexpected hospital visit to the loss of a job, without spiraling into a financial crisis. But a 2026 survey found that the median amount Americans have saved for emergencies is just $500, and 32% of U.S. adults have no emergency savings at all.
Instead of hoping for the best, make a plan for how you’ll cover emergencies, even if it’s just setting up a $50 a month deposit into an emergency fund. Making the plan together, and following it, will help you avoid or reduce future stressors that can damage or even end a relationship.
5. Do you have any debt?
According to the Federal Reserve’s Quarterly Report on Household Debt and Credit, credit card debt rose by $44 billion in late 2025. On top of credit cards, many Americans juggle student loan debt, car payments, mortgages and medical bills.
It’s no secret that all this debt adds stress to relationships. Debt from your past can impact your partner and cause resentment between the two of you. For example, even if you’re debt-free and your spouse is not, the laws of your state might consider their debt “community property,” meaning the bills they accrue during your marriage belong to both of you.
In addition to asking about your partner’s “good debt,” like mortgages and student loans, you need to know if they have issues with high-interest debt, like credit cards or payday loans. If one or both of you is in trouble, you can make a plan together that includes cutting back on expenses or meeting with a certified credit counselor to explore debt management options.
6. What are your credit scores?
If you want to achieve certain financial milestones as a couple, such as renting an apartment together or buying a car or a home, you’ll both need to have good credit scores. But a 2025 survey from FICO found that 45% of U.S. adults likely had not practiced basic credit hygiene by checking their credit scores in the past year.
Identifying and discussing your credit scores can help you decide if you need to work on improvements together. For example, if your partner’s scores need help, you might want to add their name to one or more of your credit cards as an authorized user, which lets them benefit from your history with the account.
Not sure what your scores are? You may have complimentary access to one of your scores through your credit card company or bank, or you can sign up for free score monitoring through Experian.
7. Are you planning for retirement?
Do you and your partner have a five-year plan or a retirement plan? If so, are the plans aligned? These are important questions to explore together, especially if you’re thinking of homeownership or you have financial dependents.
Unfortunately, one in three workers say they’re not on track to retire when or how they want to. However, planning together with a partner—especially when you have dual incomes—can make it easier to progress toward your goals.
Want to jump-start your retirement savings? Check to see if your employer offers a match on your retirement contribution, and max out their match if you can afford to. We also recommend talking to a financial advisor for advice on investing that’s suited to your unique income, debt and tax situation.
Start planning for your financial future together
There’s no one right way to approach your finances as a couple. What’s more important than doing it perfectly is getting comfortable talking about money so you can develop a plan for your financial future together. That way, you can support each other as partners and not work against each other. After all, money is an essential part of creating your happily-ever-after together.
Written by Sarah Brady
Sarah Brady is a financial writer and speaker who’s written for Forbes Advisor, Investopedia, Experian and more. She is also a former Housing Counselor (HUD) and Certified Credit Counselor (NFCC).